US Airways, who has taken the art of chintzing to new depths in the past few years, announced a $5 charge for seats near the front of their aircraft so you can get off faster.
Which actually sounds sort of reasonable considering how crammed and inhospitable their cabins have become.
In their spirit of buck-wringing, here are a few more suggestions to improve their revenue stream (from whatever passengers they have left):

1. Enhanced oxygen replacement, $4.50.
2. Reserved space in the overhead bin, $6.00.
3. Reserved space in the overhead bin big enough that your laptop computer doesn't form fissure cracks: $12.00.
4. Reading light, $2.00
5. Meet the pilot, $4.00
6. Have the pilot give your child a set of little plastic wings: $3.50 (with meeting)
7. Steer around that big thunderstorm, $3.00 (all passengers must agree to pay)
8. Guaranteed 'no baby zone', $10.00, $20.00 on weekends or all flights to/from Orlando
9. Keep the entire can of soda, $1.00
10. Seat in front of you can't lean back, $8.00
11. Inspirational DVD video of Sully's flight: $17.50
12. Tickets for a competing airline: Priceless