As a public service to my 3 readers (love ya ALL!) I am going to provide some guidance on how to deal with a few very important troubling issues of the day. Here goes:

• The NYC soda ban: Sugary soda is bad for you. Is this city business? I think not. Get used to diet soda (yes, you CAN) or drink bottled water if you are concerned.
• Bottled water: The water industry employs a significant number of people - filter technicians, bottling plant operators, truck drivers. Do you really want to put them all out of work?
• Reality television: No, it isn't. Seriously, did you ever think it was?
• Political campaigns: Speeches should be relegated to the candidates web sites. Only unrehearsed Q&A from the public (yes, that includes journalists) should be allowed at campaign rallies.
• Global climate change: The earth will survive us unless we invent a real working Death Star. What we are really screwing up is the way things look now - if you like tundra and shopping centers, you're good to go.
• Privacy: Purely an illusion. The only way to have a little bit of privacy is to be so boring that nobody cares what you do.
• The US Postal Service: See Bottled Water (above)
• Zero-tolerance rules: Very useful in as much as they take away the need to think. Makes things so much easier.
• Cable television: They have found a way to have us voluntarily pay for watching 43 minutes out of every hour of programming in commercials. You have to respect the brilliance of that.
• Corporate greed: Hate it on the outside, dream of cashing in on the inside. That's the American way!