Some last-minute Christmas gift ideas:

- Chore coupons. Present one to get a chore done. These things never get cashed, so it's like giving for nothing.
- Lottery tickets. There's nothing like a gift that probably won't give at all.
- A squirrel. They're everywhere, if you can catch one. Acorns make a great stocking stuffer, too.
- A CD mix of your favorite music. Nothing like stolen MP3's to express your love.
- Christmas decorations. They're about 75% off now.
- Envelopes. I can never seem to find one when I need it.
- Pine cones, spray-painted in various colors. I don't know what to do with them, but I have plenty.
- Alka-Seltzer. You don't hear much about this wonder product any more, but it really works.
- Black Sharpie markers.
- Low-energy-use light bulbs.
- Oil
- A wall organizer for post-holiday bill envelopes
- Cash. So tacky, yet so very appreciated.